Wednesday, July 16, 2008

This is my beloved, my friend...


As an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men.
With great delight I sat in his shadow...
My beloved is radiant and ruddy, distinguished among ten thousand.
His head is the finest gold; his locks are wavy, black as a raven.
His eyes are like doves beside streams of water, bathed in milk, sitting beside a full pool.
His cheeks are like beds of spices, mounds of sweet-smelling herbs.
His lips are lilies, dripping liquid myrrh. His arms are rods of gold, set with jewels.
His body is polished ivory, bedecked with sapphires.
His legs are alabaster columns, set on bases of gold.
His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as the cedars.
His mouth is most sweet, and he is altogether desirable.
This is my beloved and this is my friend...
---From the book of the Song of Solomon
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Eric and I will often have conversations during the late evening hours. It is during these times that I try to convey my apprecation for the things he does for me and our family. Recently, I found myself saying 'I love you more' in response to his 'I love you'. It is a constant reminder that I need to love him MORE. I need to remind myself to be the Proverbs 31 wife that I so strive to be. I have fall short many days, many times. Last night was one of those times. Today is a new day and a perfect opportunity for me to spend in the counsel of my Father. Whenever I have one of those NS31 (not-so-proverbs 31 )times, I take the time to mediate on the book of the Song of Solomon. It is what fills my heart with love and fuels my passion, for the man God gave me.
Thank you, Lord for your living word.
Eric hates the pictures when he's half smiling half laughing, but it reminds me so much of when I first met him (when his dimples weren't hidden by facial hair).

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Proverbs 31:17

Body image is a term which may refer to the perceptions of a human's own physical appearance, or the internal sense of having a body which is interpreted by the brain. Essentially a person's body image is how they perceive their exterior to look, and in many cases this can be dramatically different from how they actually appear to others. -From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Eric and I had a discussion last night I just can't get off my mind today. Three weeks ago we decided to get in shape and lose some extra weight. We have been working out together since we got married 10 years ago. Just a two months after Luke was born we were back in the gym with Luke asleep in the carried between the treadmills. With Kayla, I was more tired during pregnancy and didn't work out as much, I was chasing Luke around for exercise, really. I haven't worked out since having Kayla and am terribly out of shape. I finally realized how out of shape I was when the family was playing backyard baseball and I couldn't run the bases--IN OUR BACKYARD! So for Father's Day I cleaned out the garage for Eric and a friend gave us a workout video, 13 actually. I wanted to commit myself to him and be an abling (rather enabling) force for Eric's desire to get in shape.

It's a big commitment, 6 days a week, resting on Sunday, for two hours a night. We have adapted the plan to suit our needs and lifestyle, but have still seen results. Eric is trimming up and tightening (even if he doesn't think so, I've taken it upon myself to do an in depth study hehehe). I've also found that I'm losing the extra weight and have found my leg muscles again! I'm feeling good and better than I have in a long time.

Now on to the topic of body image. I hit a nerve with Eric last night when I took the wrong approach to our conversation of working out. I meant to give him "props" for staying so active over the weekend with the Relay for Life and softball practice, by telling him I was working out to try and catch up with him. This clearly was one of those moments when a woman just needs to say what she means. It should have gone something like this, "Eric, I think it was awesome all the stuff you did over the weekend." I won't share the details of our discussion. I will share my thoughts on my own body image.

According to the definition, body image is how we see ourselves verses how the world sees us. In my mind, I LOOK GOOD! I feel that I have some changes I still need to make, but for having three kids, I LOOK GOOD. So my human goals for working out are simple:

1. To feel good/better/healthier.
2. To see some muscle definition.

My third goal is something that is very personal. I don't know what I have decided to share it.

3. To look good enough for Eric to notice.
3a. To look good enough for Eric to say something.
3b. For Eric not to want to keep his hands to himself. :-)

My own personal conviction is that I need to be desirable for my husband. Let's face it, my job as a mom is not easy one. It means most days not putting on makeup, relying on my friend the ponytail, tshirts and workout shorts. I spend my time at home WORKING between the kids and the house. Thankfully, Eric is not shallow and finds me attractive when I'm the dirtiest :-). He never tells me "Boy you stink like puke." He always finds a way to "show me some love" by rubbing my head after a long day or taking the kids outside so I can clean the kitchen.

I just realized that I painted a picture of myself as one that doesn't shower for weeks, yikes! I shower, let me assure you. I am merely stating that I need to care for myself in ways that I know will please my husband. I feel that I am on the right path and will continue to challenge myself to be healthier and more pleasing to Eric's eyes.

The greatest motivation for this new life challenge is that of my Father and His teachings. Our bodies are temples, housing the Holy Spirit. If taken to the extreme I could find great hopeless fault in myself. However, I have chosen this view: my body and health is a gift from the Lord. I need to be a good steward of His provisions. I need to be more thankful for the blessings and a better caretaker.

I think that I need to be cautious of my choice of words when I share with other that I am working out. I need to take the opportunity to instead, praise God and share my conviction to take care of the body He has provided while here on earth. I also need to take the opportunity to share my passion for my husband and the desire to please him, as God instructs in His Word.

Proverbs 31:17- She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.

So how do I see myself, and how does the world see me? My body image is that of a loving wife and grateful child.