Trading my frustrations for His peace

Frustration is an emotion that I deal with on a minute by minute basis for one reason or another. When I took time to really sit and share my frustration with my Father, I took the time to listen to His calming truths.


Frustrating....
A boy who grows up in a disfunctional home: taught how to make bad decisions more than good ones. For we all know that children learn by example. What will happen to this boy? He will one day become a man and thus a member of our community and head a family. So the cycle will continue and be passed down from parent to child.

Peace....
Was there any point when they cycle could have been broken? I want to say yes, for I am an example of a broken cycle. Is it God's will? Not right now. God answers my prayers with a 'not right now'. It is His will for this boy to be where he is. Sadly, God lets us make mistakes (for I have made many), to mold us to what He wills for us.



Frustrating....
Being on the outside of a situation and seeing the future outcome of poor choices being made in the present. Seeing another repeating cycle and not having the power to change it.

Peace....
I'm thankful that I am NOT in control and everything works to His honor and glory.



Frustrating....
"For all sin and fall short of the glory of God." Losing my temper at my babies yelling at them to pick up the toys. I brought disappointment to my Father.

Peace....
Thankful for His mercy and forgiveness.



Frustrating....
Seeing my Dad live a life without the Lord. My Dad is my Dad, and to see him almost homeless, disabled, low and struggling---all the while leaning on his pride and stubbornness---is heartbreaking and draining.

Peace....
Again, God answers my prayers with "MY PLAN not yours."


Frustrating....
Learning to lean on God and let go. Letting go of a good friendship because the Lord is calling me and she has different priorities right now. Wanting to talk to her but something holds me back....?

Peace...
I am leaning on God for wisdom and clarity- both of which He has already promised.

A Virtual Drinking Game

Back in my younger days I played a drinking game called
"Have you ever..."
Here's how it works one person starts out with "Have you ever..." and then adds something to the end. Everyone who HAS, takes a drink. Let's play shall we?!

HAVE YOU EVER:

-woke up on the wrong side of the bed?

-thrown a temper tantrum because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed?

-said things you didn't mean to the person you love the most because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed?

-been so angry with yourself for not getting your chores done that you took it out on someone else, maybe because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed?

-wished for more romance?

-wished for more romance, got an entire evening full of romance, then turned it into "taking time away for the chores you were doing" by saying things you didn't mean because you were mad at yourself, possibly because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed?

-treated someone badly?

-treated someone so badly, that when they apologized to you, you couldn't wait to "let them have it" with the selfish sinful thoughts on your own self-centered mind and thus stomping all over their apology, because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed?

-witnessed first hand what self-sacrificing means?

-witnessed a husband not say a word to his wife when she behaves like a BRAT?

-witnessed a husband who is willing put on a dirty undershirt and wear it to work because his wife didn't do the white laundry, not say an unkind word to his wife (who is a BRAT, by the way), apologize for waking his wife up on the wrong side of the bed, and still go to work FOR HER so that she can stay home to do her work and provide her with everything she could ever need or want, all by God's grace?

-played a game (hypothetically) and could possibly have alcohol poisoning when it's over?


Have you ever?

One of those days

Here I sit in the bedroom with a wonderfully old movie from 1955, with my thoughts and tears.

What's wrong with me I just don't know..... or do I? Self pity? Not enough time spent with the Lord? Too much to do? Not working out enough? Tired? My broken sewing machine? Hormones? Girlie-ness?

It's just been "one of those days."

Funny, just as I typed that last sentence I reached for my water and ended up dumping it all over my night stand and the floor. And so it continues....

You'll have to excuse me for a minute as I sit here an have a piece of PITY PIE.

To save myself a little embarrassment I'll loose myself in "The Tender Trap" and put a cover on my PIE.

Moments

I was so disappointed that I went off and left my camera, thus missing this special day with the kids. Oh well, maybe next time. At least I'm taking the time to write about it, right?

Today was an on and off sunny day, a little chilly around 50 degrees, and somewhat disappointing after having several days of 75 degrees. The girls and I headed to town to pick up Luke at preschool and found the diggers working on the road just across the parking lot of the school. It took me twice as long to get the girls inside because Kayla was engrossed in the digger action. With all three buckled and back in the car, my little preschool reporter proceeded with his rendition of the day's activities. Mid story, he asked if we could have a picnic. My heart was heavy as I explained that it was too cold to have a picnic in the park. I wanted to go to the park too. Just then I recalled a chapter from a book we are reading in the mom's group entitled "Jump In". The chaptered challenged moms to find an activity to "jump in" with your kids. After a quick "thank you" to my heavenly Teacher, I turned the car around and headed towards McDonald's and proudly screamed out "CAR PICNIC" !!!!!
Much to my delight I head a "Yay" and a "WooHoo".
We picked up McDonald's and drove back to Luke's preschool. We parked on the edge of the parking lot and opened up the back. I spread out the picnic blanket and we piled into the back with our food to watch the digger. It was such a precious memory counting the many dump trucks that came and went, laughing at the silly way Krista ate her fries and just taking time to really ENJOY my kids. All the thoughts of spending $8 on lunch (when we had a full fridge and pantry at home), faded away with every point and wave at the machines and the workers. With one last little "ByeBye Digger" we ended our lunch and headed home.

It wasn't until later that afternoon that I truly took time to reflect.
With the time spent on our picnic I was behind on the daily chores. I piled two overflowing baskets of unfolded laundry on the bed. I was about half way through when a little princess head peaked around the mound of clothes. "Hi Mommy", and with that Kayla climbed up. She crushed my fears of "helping" and was content just to sit next to me while I folded and folded. With just two shirts left to fold I felt a little hand on my back, followed by a pat. I sat there as my two year old ran her hand sweetly up and down my back, all the while praising God for her. It is awesome how God gives the gift of affection to women and to see it displayed at such a young age moved me to tears.

These are the moments that make life worth living, and it is these precious moments that I need to seize and treasure, because they are just that- moments- that will pass if I don't.

How fitting the Motivation for Moms today:
Show your children that you appreciate them by doing something special just for them, like making their favorite meal, or taking them out for an ice cream.

Submission

I have so many wonderful things to share, but will only choose just one for now.

It all began with the sermon on Confessing and Following Christ (http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=33008208227). Throughout the message Pastor Olivetti discussed the very topic of selflessness. Needless to say this has been a hot topic around our home for a couple of reasons, which I will gladly discuss in another post on another day.
I never want to miss an opportunity to share about my husband, Eric. I'd like to preface this by saying, HE IS NOT PERFECT, and I'm NOT proclaiming him to be. Having said that I will say he excels in the area of selflessness. He is constantly forgoing his own pursuits of happiness for the betterment of our family, and some days just for the simply things that make me happy. This is not to say that he lives miserably. Far from it. :-)

I met with a friend recently who said this, "You always put him on a pedestal." Her words have been on my mind and I cannot seem to shake them. So.....

I began to explore just what a pedestal is:
—Noun

1.	an architectural support for a column, statue, vase, or the like.

2.	a supporting structure or piece; base.

—Idiom

1. set or put on a pedestal, to glorify; idealize.

In thinking more on this He revealed many things to me. In reflecting back on the words of my friend, I found myself placing him on a pedestal more often than I realized. Eric is the leader and supporting structure of our family. If you think in terms of a building, God is the structure in which our family is build on and under. Eric is our column that upholds the structure. Let me clarify, Eric is not supporting God, in the sense that God needs to be held up. Eric supports His ways, plans, instruction and will for our family by bearing the weight. Without a good support system the building would crash. There is a reason Eric is the man and leader of our home and I am the wife, not the head.
I also realize that I need to be careful not to put Eric in a position of idolatry. The only reason Eric is who he is, is because of his Heavenly Father. I need to make it clear to those I talk to it is He that has made us and now we ourselves.

It is a wonder what God has done in Eric's life and the man He has made Eric to be. I truly marvel at God's plan and His way to execute without fail. When I describe our marriage the best word I've found is fascination. He fascinates me because Eric is an outstanding example of God's grace, in the flesh. The Lord brought him out of a pit and restored him to be a proclamation of not only His grace, but His power over this world. Hallelujah, I say.

I realized that I should put him on a pedestal. God chose this man for me to follow, is molding him daily, helping him to mold me daily and allowing us to glorify Him while here on earth.

Submission, for me, becomes as easy as waking up in the morning. In the beginning of our marriage, I packed up and followed Eric to Indiana. Through the years I resented him for it. I've had to asked for forgiveness on more than one occasion for this. I've also realized that it wasn't just me fighting Eric, but me fighting God's will for my life.
As stubborn (strong-willed) as I was and sometimes still am, God had to pick someone truly amazing for me to follow. Not only that, but God has given me such a deep love and respect for Eric that I don't have trouble following him. That doesn't mean that I don't have opinions, nor do I have trouble expressing them. However, true submission can only be taught by Christ through His relationship to our Father, and then for me to mimic through my marriage to Eric.

I shared of making Eric a top priority. I have met my three challenges better on some days and have fallen short on others. There is ALWAYS room for improvement. :-)
Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go improve by giving my man the longest back-scratch he's ever had! Did I mention he reminds me of an old bear?! :-) HAHAHAHAHAHA!