Proverbs 31:17

Body image is a term which may refer to the perceptions of a human's own physical appearance, or the internal sense of having a body which is interpreted by the brain. Essentially a person's body image is how they perceive their exterior to look, and in many cases this can be dramatically different from how they actually appear to others. -From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Eric and I had a discussion last night I just can't get off my mind today. Three weeks ago we decided to get in shape and lose some extra weight. We have been working out together since we got married 10 years ago. Just a two months after Luke was born we were back in the gym with Luke asleep in the carried between the treadmills. With Kayla, I was more tired during pregnancy and didn't work out as much, I was chasing Luke around for exercise, really. I haven't worked out since having Kayla and am terribly out of shape. I finally realized how out of shape I was when the family was playing backyard baseball and I couldn't run the bases--IN OUR BACKYARD! So for Father's Day I cleaned out the garage for Eric and a friend gave us a workout video, 13 actually. I wanted to commit myself to him and be an abling (rather enabling) force for Eric's desire to get in shape.

It's a big commitment, 6 days a week, resting on Sunday, for two hours a night. We have adapted the plan to suit our needs and lifestyle, but have still seen results. Eric is trimming up and tightening (even if he doesn't think so, I've taken it upon myself to do an in depth study hehehe). I've also found that I'm losing the extra weight and have found my leg muscles again! I'm feeling good and better than I have in a long time.

Now on to the topic of body image. I hit a nerve with Eric last night when I took the wrong approach to our conversation of working out. I meant to give him "props" for staying so active over the weekend with the Relay for Life and softball practice, by telling him I was working out to try and catch up with him. This clearly was one of those moments when a woman just needs to say what she means. It should have gone something like this, "Eric, I think it was awesome all the stuff you did over the weekend." I won't share the details of our discussion. I will share my thoughts on my own body image.

According to the definition, body image is how we see ourselves verses how the world sees us. In my mind, I LOOK GOOD! I feel that I have some changes I still need to make, but for having three kids, I LOOK GOOD. So my human goals for working out are simple:

1. To feel good/better/healthier.
2. To see some muscle definition.

My third goal is something that is very personal. I don't know what I have decided to share it.

3. To look good enough for Eric to notice.
3a. To look good enough for Eric to say something.
3b. For Eric not to want to keep his hands to himself. :-)

My own personal conviction is that I need to be desirable for my husband. Let's face it, my job as a mom is not easy one. It means most days not putting on makeup, relying on my friend the ponytail, tshirts and workout shorts. I spend my time at home WORKING between the kids and the house. Thankfully, Eric is not shallow and finds me attractive when I'm the dirtiest :-). He never tells me "Boy you stink like puke." He always finds a way to "show me some love" by rubbing my head after a long day or taking the kids outside so I can clean the kitchen.

I just realized that I painted a picture of myself as one that doesn't shower for weeks, yikes! I shower, let me assure you. I am merely stating that I need to care for myself in ways that I know will please my husband. I feel that I am on the right path and will continue to challenge myself to be healthier and more pleasing to Eric's eyes.

The greatest motivation for this new life challenge is that of my Father and His teachings. Our bodies are temples, housing the Holy Spirit. If taken to the extreme I could find great hopeless fault in myself. However, I have chosen this view: my body and health is a gift from the Lord. I need to be a good steward of His provisions. I need to be more thankful for the blessings and a better caretaker.

I think that I need to be cautious of my choice of words when I share with other that I am working out. I need to take the opportunity to instead, praise God and share my conviction to take care of the body He has provided while here on earth. I also need to take the opportunity to share my passion for my husband and the desire to please him, as God instructs in His Word.

Proverbs 31:17- She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.

So how do I see myself, and how does the world see me? My body image is that of a loving wife and grateful child.

His Light Shines

I am sorry that I've waited to long to write this post.

Everyday I get on the this wonderful computer I visit many 'fun places and friendly faces'. Among that those places and faces, I've found a friend from my past. A friend who has become near and dear to my heart, although years and miles have separated us.

Aubs,
I look forward to 'catching up' with you and the boys whenever you have a new post. I thank you for the time you take to write and share your life with me and others.

The life of a military wife is not an easy one. Those who serve our country and their families have touched my life in may ways. I'd like to share this with you:
Tabitha (Bode) DeLaney and I have known each other since Kindergarten. We've kept in touch all these years and we are proud godparents to Jace and Zach. We flew down to Texas for Jacelynn's baptism when she was months old. At the time, Craig (Tabitha's husband) had been deployed and had been gone since Jacelynn was 3 weeks old. The things that I have seen Tabitha and the trials she faced as a new/single mother is the very thing that binds my heart to hers. Craig was allowed to return for 3 days for Jace's baptism.
As Eric and I witnessed this new family being separated it touch our lives forever. It was that day we learned just how selfish we had become. The greatest thing we discovered was just how precious time is. We were overjoyed to begin our journey as parents that day and 9 months later Luke was born.
It was through the military that Eric had to learn to put away childish things and learn what kind of man he wanted to be. It was also the driving force for our wedding.
The Lord uses many means to execute His perfect plan and will for our lives.

Even now I find the military a part of my life, though we do not serve. It is through your strength and courage that I find inspiration for my own strength and courage. There are days that I remind myself of the promise that 'He will not give me more than I can handle.' There is a reason God designed the family structure to be that of two- both a husband and a wife. We do not have the strength of our own to face the challenges of motherhood single handily, life for that matter. 'With God all things are possible.' God intends for us to rely on Him.

It is in you that I see His light and His strength. I know that you are special for our Father has called you not only to the greatest calling, that of a mother, but that of a single mother (when He calls your husband to serve). It is a wondrous testimony of your faith in our Father, dependence on His strength and the glory brought for His name sake.

Praise God for YOU, Aubs. Glory to our Lord God most high who gives strength to His people.

Trading my frustrations for His peace

Frustration is an emotion that I deal with on a minute by minute basis for one reason or another. When I took time to really sit and share my frustration with my Father, I took the time to listen to His calming truths.


Frustrating....
A boy who grows up in a disfunctional home: taught how to make bad decisions more than good ones. For we all know that children learn by example. What will happen to this boy? He will one day become a man and thus a member of our community and head a family. So the cycle will continue and be passed down from parent to child.

Peace....
Was there any point when they cycle could have been broken? I want to say yes, for I am an example of a broken cycle. Is it God's will? Not right now. God answers my prayers with a 'not right now'. It is His will for this boy to be where he is. Sadly, God lets us make mistakes (for I have made many), to mold us to what He wills for us.



Frustrating....
Being on the outside of a situation and seeing the future outcome of poor choices being made in the present. Seeing another repeating cycle and not having the power to change it.

Peace....
I'm thankful that I am NOT in control and everything works to His honor and glory.



Frustrating....
"For all sin and fall short of the glory of God." Losing my temper at my babies yelling at them to pick up the toys. I brought disappointment to my Father.

Peace....
Thankful for His mercy and forgiveness.



Frustrating....
Seeing my Dad live a life without the Lord. My Dad is my Dad, and to see him almost homeless, disabled, low and struggling---all the while leaning on his pride and stubbornness---is heartbreaking and draining.

Peace....
Again, God answers my prayers with "MY PLAN not yours."


Frustrating....
Learning to lean on God and let go. Letting go of a good friendship because the Lord is calling me and she has different priorities right now. Wanting to talk to her but something holds me back....?

Peace...
I am leaning on God for wisdom and clarity- both of which He has already promised.

A Virtual Drinking Game

Back in my younger days I played a drinking game called
"Have you ever..."
Here's how it works one person starts out with "Have you ever..." and then adds something to the end. Everyone who HAS, takes a drink. Let's play shall we?!

HAVE YOU EVER:

-woke up on the wrong side of the bed?

-thrown a temper tantrum because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed?

-said things you didn't mean to the person you love the most because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed?

-been so angry with yourself for not getting your chores done that you took it out on someone else, maybe because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed?

-wished for more romance?

-wished for more romance, got an entire evening full of romance, then turned it into "taking time away for the chores you were doing" by saying things you didn't mean because you were mad at yourself, possibly because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed?

-treated someone badly?

-treated someone so badly, that when they apologized to you, you couldn't wait to "let them have it" with the selfish sinful thoughts on your own self-centered mind and thus stomping all over their apology, because you woke up on the wrong side of the bed?

-witnessed first hand what self-sacrificing means?

-witnessed a husband not say a word to his wife when she behaves like a BRAT?

-witnessed a husband who is willing put on a dirty undershirt and wear it to work because his wife didn't do the white laundry, not say an unkind word to his wife (who is a BRAT, by the way), apologize for waking his wife up on the wrong side of the bed, and still go to work FOR HER so that she can stay home to do her work and provide her with everything she could ever need or want, all by God's grace?

-played a game (hypothetically) and could possibly have alcohol poisoning when it's over?


Have you ever?

One of those days

Here I sit in the bedroom with a wonderfully old movie from 1955, with my thoughts and tears.

What's wrong with me I just don't know..... or do I? Self pity? Not enough time spent with the Lord? Too much to do? Not working out enough? Tired? My broken sewing machine? Hormones? Girlie-ness?

It's just been "one of those days."

Funny, just as I typed that last sentence I reached for my water and ended up dumping it all over my night stand and the floor. And so it continues....

You'll have to excuse me for a minute as I sit here an have a piece of PITY PIE.

To save myself a little embarrassment I'll loose myself in "The Tender Trap" and put a cover on my PIE.